There was a usual spot reserved for us
in the corner of the end breaker
not the sunniest
but sheltered from the wind

That was our place for years
a home to sandcastles
frisbee and french cricket
or tricking the skies with
stunt kites

We had toy surfboards
tried to stand
fell
and swam back to shore

never too far out
and careful of the tide
when the sea came in
the moats of the castles would fill
protecting them from all except
eventual collapse

Sometimes there was no space
we moved down the prominade
or up
away from all the people
next to the rocks and the steps up
the cliff face
returning when
the intruders had left

Out of season there was
all the space in the world
the sand a canvas for thoughts
scribed by driftwood
and the sea
more determined to make it presence felt
as it competed against the wind

i remember you

out there in the woods

laughing with friends

until the rain came

when we walked together

briefly

your coat brushed my arm

with electric fabric

I shuddered

the shock not expected

nor the draw of

such charge

back at the house

we spoke

the others elsewhere

mute in the distance

their laughter gave

privacy yet still

we stood restrained

and hid ourselves

I sent
two pickles

to Save the Children

They sent
the police

as the days fall from the calendar

you can see the bare branches of the month

dead behind you

needing no wake

close your eyes and you can travel

through time

back to the past, or

forward

to an imagined future

did you taste

the grain of truth?

I hid it in the salt

Keys
bridge
game
over

Amended 21 June 2014

Again
like yesterday
you pass the seat
sit behind
three rows back
and
the bus moves on

I try
fail
to catch your eye
smile
the old lady thinks it to her
smiles back
and gives me a sweet

every day
same commute
an hour each way kept sane
by
the last twenty minutes
with your presence
and the hope

He walked around, ego protected by a false
air of confidence
surrounding his step and the bulk of his stomach

“I’d fuck the one on the left”

Laughing, from the window, at the exchange kids
standing at the counter

Wasn’t often out with us
said it didn’t matter

even so

aleways had to be
centre
of everyone’s attention
the confident air a cloud, to
those around

Amended 15 May 2005

They say to live for the present
today is the first of the last, not
the last of the first
so
make it work for you
and don’t procrastinate away your life

They say that
friends are important, and its
not just about surrounding yourself with
skin deep acquaintances
but a few
who know you, and
you them

They think you should be positive
look at what you have not
what you want, and
accept who you are
without hating the self or
the body where it lives

But what do they know
giving out advice
not looking inside, outside
failing to see the you
who is so different to
everyone else