The flat cap was not originally worn in yorkshire in order to keep people warm. Up here, we’re all hard as nails.

The true purpose was therefore as a sign to the Southerners – look at the gap around the neck – and the sticking out ears. A southerner couldn’t stand that. None of your fancy full face balaclavers here up north. It was simply worn to make a point.

And, not only that, but the cap provided the wearer with a place to put his pint, by transforming the top of the head into his own personal table.

Nowadays, the flat cap is out of fashion, but, science steps in and the badge of the hardened is worn as a strip of tweed, hand sewn into a furrow across the front of the forehead. This sign of the hard has only one problem, being that it is dry clean only, meaning that the strip of replacement skin can shrink every time it rains, tightening the brow until such a point that the eyes of the north pop out from the head.