24 July 1999

To my God
give me explanation and tell me
I am doing.

It’s taken a lifetime to realise
just how much I messed up and
I want to start again.

Let me pause the tape
get my bearings
or climb back a few frames.

I want things to have been different.
Without my fucking stupidity.

Amended 20 April 2001, 6 January 2002