run away

send an email

call a friend

take the rollercoaster

fly a kite

paddle

cut the grass

listen to music

read a magazine

paint a wall

break a window

kick the bin over

scrape the car

walk down the stairs

watch the waves break

write a blog

hold hands

buy some matches

get engaged

have a fag

In Manchester there was a reverse bungee at Parr’s Wood entertainment and themed vomit fun-plex. Apparently it was the largest such bungee in Europe.

From the road, it looked like a giant catapault. £15 for certain death. At least, it would have been if I’d had a go. The cage would undoubtedly have come uncoupled, and I would have been catapaulted out into orbit, before re-entering the atmosphere as a burning sphere that would take out the post office in Glossop.

Because of my concern for the safety of others, and the pension collection needs of a local town, I didn’t have a ride.

My take on the 2 minute project. Things may be shorter.

Say I love you

Read the Sun

Flick TV channels

Eat some chips

Smell flowers

Look at pictures

Sit in the sun

Swim a length

Have a beer

Talk to a friend

get undressed

Walk by the sea front

Surf the web

Foreplay

Boil and egg

Fill the car with petrol

Spin on a roundabout

windowshop

plan the future

have a wee

clean your teeth

Buy a ticket

Watch the sun set

Have a cigarette

Nice to see some comments.

Still none on the 2 minute project though.

Go on, send me something.

Total screw up project

I lost my mobile phone.

It contains all the records I have of people’s phone numbers.

If you think I may have had your number, please email it to me.

Isn’t it all shit.

Way cool, I’m having one of these instead of a straight cardboard job. (See text below for allegedly morbid reference.)

Did you know that many coffins are made of chipboard overlaid in veneer. Chipboard decays slowly, releasing harmful gasses into the environment – quite aside from all of the things in its manufacture.

Of course, you could seal my body inside a glass case, together with some sort of plant and some bacteria/ insect / pet cat, and see if it comes up with a whole new ecosystem.

I’m doing a project. I need your help.

Please name anything that can be done in 2 minutes.

For example:

Say “I love you.”

Have a wee.

Eat some chips.

Anything at all. I just want your ideas. It would be very much appreciated. I want the thoughts of as many people as possible.

Please leave your suggestions via the comments link below, or email them to me directly.

Many thanks.