Doctor

Man stands there in his pyjamas, looking at the doctor.
Doctor has power and dignity. Man is afraid.
Man asks doctor to help him.
Doctor looks down, and reaches for his bag.
Man coughs.
Doctor hides his face and smiles.
Man cannot is afraid.
Doctor talks to man, who feels small.
Man thanks doctor, leaves, and wishes he was dead.

This is how the world works.
I wish it was not the case. But I’m sorry. I am only here for the money.

Amended 1 May 2005

Think of the past

Think of the past –
Think of holidays, of days in the sun,
resting, laughing,
playing.

Think of the joy in the eyes of the others
Watching the laughter
the fun, the games and the
happiness
that ended
as life began.

Amended 20 April 2001

Jack

Jack looked at window.
Moroe stroked his head. Incessantly.
And Jack stared.

In the afternoon, she brought him
some chocolate, and sat,
eating it with him.

The night was beginning to fall, so
Moroe closed the curtains. But Jack
didn’t care, he just continued to stare.

On Tuesdays Moroe went to town. She
always told Jack the shops she’d visit, and he’d
listen to her when she returned.

A slight patter of rain. The door opened,
and Father came in. “Hello old boy”
he said, and sat down.

Jack had seen his father before, and perhaps that
was why he didn’t turn round, just stayed, staring
at the window.

“I’m going to leave here. Leave town. I can’t do this any more”
Moroe sobbed into the check of Jack’s father’s
jacket. “I understand” he said.

And Jack kept a brave face
and stared, at the rain-soaked window
like tears running down the glass.

Yorkshire in 1984

Yes lad, of course you can express yourself through
the wit and beauty
of the spoken word.

I trust you,
and value you,
and want you to succeed.

Can I, your humble old Dad, help you?

Fill your pen with ink?
Fetch paper for the typewriter?
Find you a dictionary?

And no,
no of course
I wouldn’t tell you to stop.

We might be starving here,
sonny boy,
and desperate for
money and for
help,
but we need to hear what you have to say.

Amended 20 April 2001, 11 January 2003

24 July 1999

To my God
please
give me explanation and tell me
what
I am doing.

It’s taken a lifetime to realise
just how much I messed up and
I want to start again.

Let me pause the tape
get my bearings
or climb back a few frames.

I want things to have been different.
Without my fucking stupidity.

Amended 20 April 2001, 6 January 2002

2000

You have to run now that he’s coming
try over there
that’s it
he’ll never find you
safety, you see
cannot be bought
and I care for you
and run
with you and for you
onwards
on and on
do I hide first
of course not
I want you secure

He is catching up now
I think we are in his sights
do you have those thoughts
perhaps they’ll hold him
off
knives to his conscience
yes,
I am
happy with you here
that all will be well

But you know that
all that has happened
continues and never ends
and we prepare
for a future that
lives
for the past
and that scares him
for he knows that we
are one.

Amended 11 January 2003