Back in the Union, the next day, and I am alone. Walking to the society room, where I have people to see, an event to organise, and three days left as a member of the guiding committee. It seems like it probably won’t make much difference. Perhaps I should just go straight to the bar. In first year, Woody had asked, when he, I and someone else long since forgotten from the flats had collided after a lecture, if anyone wanted to go for a pint. I had wanted to. After noon and its not rude. He liked that attitude, and we’d remained best friends until evening.

Can’t do it. Even though whatever happens in the next few minutes is bound to succeed in nothing other than my annoyance, I still decide that I should go through with it.

Open the door.

The room that we’ve been given is, or was, bare brick, coated in a high gloss varnish that must have seemed a good idea to someone, somewhere, one time, and without windows or hope. We’ve covered it with posters of the various shows, but really, this is not a room that you would want to spend much time inside.

Having spent two years on the committee, at times even thinking I was doing some good, I live in this room.

What surprised me, going through the words on the blog, was the amount of writing. Obviously nothing is finished. And I think most is in extreme need of rewrite. But its there. And before 2003 and the rediscovery of the blog, that I’d previously forgotten about whilst finishing my dissertation, I wasn’t writing anything any more.

Re Alcohol by Veitch (2003)

I was inspired by the following (not exactly this form of words, I was sent something similar several years ago, but I can’t locate it immediately).

A herd of bisons moves only so fast as the slowest animal in it. When predators attack the herd they capture and kill the slowest bison at the end of the herd. Such natural selection is only good for the herd because it keeps the animals in good health, and the herd also becomes faster. A similar process takes place in the human brain. The brain can function only as fast as its slowest cell. As we all know, an excess of liquor destroys brain cells, yet due to the above-described natural selection alcohol destroys the slowest and the weakest cells first. Regular beer drinking therefore destroys slow brain cells and makes the brain faster and more efficient.

Voice your opinion!

Poetry from 2003 is now copied to the appropriate link from the poetry menu. Any thoughts on whether I should delete the original blogs?

Having decided not to compete again, we sat ourselves next to the pool table, together on a bench seat that merged with the chocolate wood panelling. I put my arm around her.

“Don’t!”

“Sorry.” I removed my arm. Stared at the table.

“Someone might see us.”

“The pubs empty.” Looking up.

“And the door is just there. Someone might come in.”

Back to the table again.

“I’m sorry, I know its hard. But you’ve got to trust me. I’m going to sort things out between me and Mark. You’ve got to be patient. At the moment you can’t be seen with me. You know that.”

It didn’t help.

I drained my pint, and went to the bar for another. Sofia was there, a girl from my first year class who I had asked out, drunkenly as that was the only way I ever had the confidence, and who had at least now switched to laughing with me after the two years had past.

“Two pints of Magnet please.”

“You okay Andy?”

“Just great. Just got essays, you know what its like.”

“Sure. I’ve got a couple due in next week.”

“I might get started on them soon. Or it will be another all-nighter.”

I paid for the drinks with more of the graduate debt, and went back to the table.

“Happy Thursday.”

Keyed thoughts

The clatter of the keyboard is like
tacks
being impressed one by one by one by one
into my brain
sticking down the words on the eventual page
so that they don’t wash away
when its home time

Amended 15 May 2005