I wanted to go to a fancy dress party, wearning those fancy contact lenses with a metallic finish. They look spooky. It would have been great.

But, I was struck by a lack of fiscal availability when I called into the shop to purchase the said visual adornments. Instead, I was forced to improvise. A couple of minutes later and I had some upholstory tacks from the DIY shop. It was a simple job to push the hardened steel through the retina and into each of my eyes, leaving only the domes of the brass effect caps showing. It was so funny. I looked like a robot. Apparently.