There are a meagre 9 months until the target day: the culmination of efforts to establish a new market for an alternative snack, one that will feed children around the November bonfires whilst helping to alleviate pressure caused by a certain population. Toffee pigeons. Held via the stick of the legs, each bird can be cooked amongst the embers before being dipped in warm sugar. An ideal way to feed two cold children as they watch the fireworks. Or one particularly hungry child. Or a cat with a sweet tooth.

You may think that’s a crazy. That I’ve got the wrong solution. The wrong target. That the pigeons should be targeted second.

Don’t worry. They will be. Earlier – Halloween – there will be squirrel bobbing. No longer the dull pursuit of chasing fruit. With squirrel bobbing there will be the excitement of a live target. Of real sport. And of avoiding your face being sliced open by the claws of aggravated, drowning rodents.

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